Some Helpful Advice....

Being Savvy is about much more then watching your bank account, checking out your mechanic, or looking for the best doctor. It's about knowing how to look out for your spiritual and emotional well-being as well. One of the most important ways to do this is by knowing when to walk away from a toxic person or situation.

We've all been there- you have a friend that suddenly hasn't got the time for you unless they need something, a family member who is over critical or controlling, or a significant other who is treating you badly. Oftentimes, we put up with bad behavior from people because of blood ties or good memories from the past. Sadly, these things blind us to the truth of the situation: we need to say goodbye.

Removing yourself from the influence of a toxic person can be one of the hardest things you'll ever do, especially in a family situation. We've heard "blood is
thicker then water" so many times, it becomes ingrained in us. This makes us feel like we "owe" them our loyalty no matter what, often at the cost of our own
well-being.

How do you know if it's time to cut someone off? There are many signs. If the thought of visiting the person makes you nervous or upset, chances are you should be staying away. Similarly, if you find yourself feeling physically drained or tense while around the person, that's another sign. These physical symptoms are your body's way of telling you something's not right, and you need to listen to it. When you tell someone about something that's important to you or go to them for advice and they can't manage to show an interest, you're better off finding someone else to go to. Same goes for a person who can't respond to anything you say or do without being negative or making it all about them. Obviously, if someone ever lays a hand on you in a fit of anger, get out.

So, you've taken stock of your relationships and you've realized there is someone in your life you could do without. What do you do now? One of the best things is to go cold turkey. Cut off all contact. Each time you answer the phone or reply to that e-mail, you're allowing them to step in and exert a bad influence on you. This is especially true in the case of a fair weather friend. If they can't bother to pick up the phone once in a while or send you an e-mail unless they want something from you, don't bother trying to initiate contact. There isn't a point to it, and you have no obligation to, even if you may feel you do. They have made it clear how they view your relationship, so trying to force anything else will do nothing but frustrate you and leave you more hurt and confused then you already were. If you find that you absolutely must respond to something they said, let it all out in a letter and then destroy it. That way, you can purge yourself while not stirring things up any further.

Sometimes, the cold turkey method isn't possible. Maybe you live too close to the person to make sure you never come into contact with them. Maybe they're a family member you're inevitably going to see when you go to that holiday gathering or birthday celebration. In these cases, it's best to say a polite hello and try to remove yourself from their presence as quickly as possible. When you're around the person, do not volunteer information. If they ask something, keep your answers short and to the point.

The stock in trade of a toxic person is mind games, so you may want to develop some of your own mind tricks. Try to find something else close by to focus on and tune them out. It doesn’t always work, but can be helpful. If the person starts asking rude questions or being too invasive, try throwing out a polite “why would you like to know?” or “I don’t want to discuss that.” You may also want to prepare to be around them ahead of time by mentally psyching yourself up with some affirmations or promising yourself a reward later for getting through the encounter calmly. If all else fails, make sure to seek out the help of a professional who can help you develop other tools for dealing with them. They can also help you to deal with any of the negative feelings the person in question has ingrained in you.

Removing a toxic person from your life is one of the hardest things you'll ever do.... but it will also be one of the best things you can do for yourself. Allowing
yourself to be torn down by someone is doing no one, including them, any good, so don't just sit back and take it. Make a clean break now and save yourself the
stress and the possible negative effects to your health that come with it.